EMT-B exam today.

Well, in about an hour and a half, I'll be in class anxiously awaiting the 100 question test.

Did I study hard? No.

Am I comfortable taking the test? No.

Did I do good on the practice exam? Sort of.

Will I pass? Not with the grade I would hope.

While I did good on the last quiz (got an A) I am mostly using the knowledge that I've obtained over the course of the last three weeks instead of studying diligently over the past week. I managed to read through the four chapters that we are going to have it on today at work. I feel like I still need more work. I'm a little worried about the vital signs sheet since I haven't completed any of it. I'll try and get some from some of the classmates before class starts.

My tire got a flat on Saturday night and Kim is driving me to class. I dropped ITT, since it sucks, and am focusing on the EMT class. Hopefully it will keep me busy and I won't be too worried about Kim when her ex comes to stay with her in a couple weeks. I'm stressing about that and I hope I can get through it ok. I've also been gaining a lot of weight recently as my clothes are getting tighter and tighter. I need to start working out again and getting back into shape.

Another turn of events is that I've started smoking. I don't know if I mentioned it in my last blog, it's been a while, but I started it to help ease my stress. I know it's not healthy, but my life is fucked up right now and I can't think of anything good. Work here at The Core isn't going too great. I did manage to switch everyone over to the new server without too much trouble, but now trying to connect the two domains together through a VPN across two NAT's is getting hard.

Carmen wants an answer soon and I don't have one. I've done just about everything I know how to do. I sacrificed working on it today to study. I hope I do ok. As usual, I have feelings of anxiety and nervousness walking into the class. Once I get there, everything seems ok. Thanksgiving is coming up and I'm spending it with Kim. Someday I hope to look back at this year as a turning point in my life. A few years ago it was motivating myself to go back to school and loose weight. I don't know what the future holds for me at this point. But I hope there's some good that will come from all of this pain and heartache.