Decisions, Decisions.

Things just got a bit more serious. Katie and I had a serious talk about relationships last night. She said that she loved being with me and that I make her smile. She said I was amazing and all of that. She told me to not get attached, which is really what I have not been doing these past few weeks. I've had my guard up. Waiting for this to end any time. Waiting for her to move on to someone else. Last night some guy walks up to us who was staring at her the whole time. I guess they knew each other from grade school. At first I felt threatened, but I tried not to show it. It was afterwards that we got into our serious relationship conversation. She told me about how Chris and her are really close and that with her comes him. I have been fine with it, but the more people try to tell you what is going to happen like it is fact (her close relationship to Chris affecting me and making me jealous) the more you start to wonder if you should feel that way.

She said I should just have my fun and move on. That comment made me feel like shit. I'm not that kind of guy and I don't want to treat her like that. She deserves so much better than that. We were having fun together and everything, now after talking about this it has kind of made me feel sour about the whole thing. I enjoy kissing her and being with her, but now I feel like I'm just using her. I know she didn't mean anything by that comment and that she really is ok with me just having fun with her. I don't know. In the past I made mistakes by staying in something when I knew I shouldn't. At this point, I don't know what my gut is telling me. I've either not been with her enough or experienced being out with her and "in a relationship" with her. Things become different when you are together with someone like that. I still need more time to feel it out. But really, honestly at this point. If I had to make a definitive decision right now with no repercussions or feelings... I would leave.

Maybe that says something...