There's never enough time.

Katie and I are in love. I didn't think it could truly happen so fast, but it has. So how do I feel about it? I feel good, it feels really good. But at the same time, I'm scared. More like terrified. I don't want to lose her, so much has happened around me in the past where people have left the other or "fallen out of love" with someone. It's happened to me twice. And it never got easier. Now I've truly fallen for Katie and she is probably leaving in less than a month from now and I'm no closer to getting out of here.

Selling my car will be a big step forward. But I still need to look for another job out there. I've been going out every single night drinking with Katie and I need to have a chill night tonight. She might get fired and go out getting wasted, I will probably be out with her if she does. If she doesn't then I'm definately staying in. It upsets me that her friends encourage her to go out. Chris is cool as shit though and is also responsible. He goes out and gets hammered sometimes, but he knows his limits and when he needs to just relax. Joe has a thing for Katie and he is constantly trying to get her to go out and get wasted.

It sucks sometimes, it feels like I am competing for her attention when I'm not whenever he tags along with us. Katie views him as just a friend, but I can see he has alterior motives for going out. I've also found that Katie is less affectionate when we are around him. I don't know if it's because she's just busy or if she's not trying to lose him as a friend. That guy needs to chill out and get a girlfriend and stop trying to "impress" Katie. I'll admit that it annoys the hell out of me sometimes. He has to know she's with me and should fucking respect that.

Anyways, Katie is leaving soon and we had a discussion about it last night. She says that she loves me with all her heart and that no one will ever match her love for me. When I think of her leaving, those last few moments we'll have together before she gets on that plane. I'll be so sad, but so happy that she'll be going to where she really wants to be.

Well, I'm at work and people are walking into my office. I gotta go for now.