SLIDE

Jack's power animal said it best, "Slide!"

Thinking through last week I realized something. That I haven't been thinking for myself lately. I've been giving my power away, my priorities away to other people and anxieties. I haven't been doing anything for myself. And in the process I have been completely fucking myself over. Yeah, I haven't been wanting to talk about them. But let's list the general concerns of mine:

- Bills
- Health
- Career
- Studying
- Finances
- Responsibility

I'm basically fucking myself over when it comes to debt and finances. Going out and spending money on drinking instead of saving. Worrying about Katie and who she's with, going out to smoke constantly when I should start quitting. Worrying about work, studying for my certs, moving out again, California, Seattle, working out again, eating too much, drinking too much, neglecting my friends, my family. Fuck... Everything!

You know, when Katie and I were first hanging out I didn't care at all who she was hanging around. Mostly guys, but who cared? I was having fun and getting into a nice friends with benefits situation. She started getting attached and we became "exclusive". She told me about Joe and how he really liked her. I begain worrying about it for a while. But after going through her old pictures with her and seeing her friends and how she used to hang out with these people for years.

Who the fuck am I to stop that? How arrogant and self-centered of me to try and stop that. Sure there are some things I would like her not to do, but those are common sense. Like kissing and sleeping over at some dude's house, shit like that which I would never do. But hanging out and going drinking during the day. Whatever, I'm stupid to try and worry about it.

All I care about is Katie being happy. Whether that's with me or someone else. I need to stop acting like a jealous 15 year old brat and grow up. I have my own things to worry about. I even started playing basketball again! Fun as hell I'll tell ya!

I do love her though, but I can't stop things from happening. If they do, they do. That kind of stuff is out of my control. What is in control is MY life.

It's time to start making MYSELF a priority and let all the other bullshit SLIDE.