We're getting busier at work and class is almost over. Soon I will have graduated and officially be an EMT-B. We're starting to get more sophisticated equipment at work and I will more busier. Well, I always say that when I'm not doing much it means that I am doing my job. I am getting the feeling from a lot of people at work that I don't do much of anything all day. I am starting to get sick and tired of it. That is one of the main reasons why I want to become an EMT-B.
Then there's Kim...
Yeah, I'm about to talk about her... AGAIN.
I keep thinking in the back of my mind that I have to beat her by getting into a relationship first. I just won't be able to handle it if she starts going out with some other guy. I am on my way out then. If I am in a relationship before her then I won't give a shit. She mentioned that they may be hiring another production assistant and I am praying to Jesus and God almighty that it is another girl. That's all I need for it to be is an attractive guy to start working over there and for Kim to fall head over heals for him. That's my next greatest fear next to her going back to her ex or getting pregnant by one or the other.I'm so fat and I am going to the gym tomorrow morning to get back into shape. I keep saying that I want to start losing weight and getting back into shape as well as stop eating fast food. Yet I always go out to get it.
If the Kim factor were not in effect, I would be cool with where my life was heading. But that constantly drags me back down. I've asked and prayed to get over this and her, but I can't seem to get away. Having her go out with someone else is NOT the way to get over her, especially when I work near her everyday. So if it is in God's hands about how he plans to help me get over her, then that is NOT the way. A new relationship or me moving far away is the only way I think right now.
I feel that I have been shunned by my friend Matt at work. Lately, whenever I have wanted to go out to smoke with him he says no. Then 5 minutes later I see him smoking with Brian and Katie. In fact, no one wants to smoke with me except Marcin. He's the only one that comes by and wants to smoke anymore. I guess that's a good thing since I am trying to stop. I'm starting to dislike almost everyone back there. I think there is a lot of animosity going on among them. Like they are jealous of me for getting where I am. Alan might get some of that too since he is in sales now. Oh well, fuck them. Let them do their brainless work.
I guess I better get some sleep now before I go to the gym tomorrow. Oh, I also deleted my Myspace page after Kim found comments that she thought were about her. That's all for now.
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