It's starting to sink in...

That feeling of loss and depression is starting to slowly sink in regarding Kim and her dipshit friend staying over. He never called her and was 5 hours late. Doesn't carry a cellphone and expected to stay FOREVER. What a dumbass. Kim was pissed off, but then let it all slide once he called. I don't think she is as upset with him as she makes it seems and I can't help but take everything she says about him with a grain of salt.

The passed few days haven't been so bad, but now it seems my wall is starting to crumble as more time and time passes. It doesn't look like he will be leaving before New Years and I wanted to hang out with Kim then. I left her my cable modem so he could find tickets, but as far as last night nothing has happened. He better find something soon.

I'm starting to feel depressed about the whole situation and I'm finding it harder and harder to not think about it. Good news is I did well on my mod 3 test last night as well as my practical. I barely studied. But I've retained a lot since then. Steph flies in tonight. I need to clean and go out and by an ornament. I don't know what to get. I miss hanging out with Kim and while seeing my friends is good, I miss seeing her and just chilling around the apartment.

I need to just cut all contact and get her out of my mind. This sucks. I don't know what I am going to do to keep myself so busy. I suppose I should start working out. That would probably help a lot, but it gets so hard to just drop everything and go to the gym.

I should get to the mall and start getting stuff for tomorrow.

I did ok.

Well, I passed the practical ok and I think I at least passed the mod 2 exam. I still haven't completed my vital signs and have yet to schedule my BLS class. I'm still procrastinating and studying the night before. Why can't I stop that? I need to get this stuff done and start scheduling my ride time and get that out of the way.

I know the money in this field isn't that great and as time goes on, the more I worry about it. I like computers and just wished that things had turned out differently for that school. There wasn't really any emphasis on hands on work and lecturing for hours on end doesn't help at all and gets dry and stale. I came into this wanting to do volunteer work primarily or part time. If everything turns out well, I might go into nursing or something similar. Maybe even an x-ray technician. They get paid a lot. It's not all about the money, but I'm getting tired of living paycheck to paycheck.