She dropped the bomb on me over the past weekend and confirmed it New Years Eve. I was devestated. I have done everything I could to be a better man, but in the end it wasn't enough. She chose the lesser. A clingy, possessive old geezer. There must be something there that I don't have *cough* money *cough*. I said I would stay friends, but I don't know anymore. I am going to try and keep my distance. She wants to go out to eat, but I won't hold my breath. Hopefully, something will come up and we won't have to go. I just want to get away.
It's a new year and I'm ready to call it quits. I broke down yesterday. Twice. I made sure no one was around and just let the tears flow. I needed it. It felt good. So much emotion built up over this situation and I let it release. I'm sure there's more to come. I hate being back home. I just want to be alone sometimes. I can't really do anything when I leave except just try to go out and do stuff. I can't play games. That won't help. Working out does though and I guess I have that to look forward to. Losing weight and looking better. I need to stop smoking before it's too late.
I hope and pray to God that this works out in the end. That there's something else for me. I can only hope that he has a plan for me. As for what it could be, I have absolutely no clue. I keep thinking about hunting that asshole down and just killing him. Then she could NEVER go back to him. But I would be in jail and away from her forever. But would that be worth it? She would meet someone better than that fucker.
I know it's horrible to think that way, I need to get a girlfriend and then I won't even give a shit about her problems anymore.
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